For the last year or so I’ve been using a three legged chair as my desk chair. OK that is slightly hyperbolic. It has four legs, but one is attached with masking tape and is prone to fall off if I shift my weight without warning. The result has been… well, mostly pain.

Falling off three legged chair

Today, after falling rather painfully for the 732nd time, I decided it was time to buy a new desk chair. I already had plans to buy bath crayons as part of a mastermind idea to write the next great novel in the shower, so off to Officeworks I toddled. There were no bath crayons, but I found some window crayons which I hoped would do the trick, and I found a chair that fitted 7 of my 10 requirements.

With window crayons and a new chair in hand (or boot), I headed home. Stuck in after school traffic, I daydreamed about the success that would ensue with the aid of my new writing accessories. And then I drove straight into the back of the car in front of me.

Crunched car

I’m the sort of person to whom accidents just happen. I’m not complaining, and I’m certainly not meaning to be all woe is me about it, but I’ve been in more car accidents than I can count – previously, none were caused by me, for one I was stationary at the lights, one I was parked in a car park, and two (YES TWO) I was sitting in my car parked on the side of the road.

This time, however, (golly-gosh-and-dearie-me), it was definitely my fault. I won’t declare my excuses. I feel too terrible about the whole thing. It happened. No one was hurt. The man in front, who told me it was his first week living in Tasmania, did look slightly disturbed, particularly when I began laughing hysterically, but he was very kind about the whole thing.

I drove home rather forlornly, struggling to see over the bent bonnet of my car, until I remembered the chair and crayons in my boot. My car might be mashed, but fun awaited. Then I realised that, had I not gone to buy the chair and crayons, my car would still be in one piece.

I’m not usually one for “what if” history. I mean, so what if Julius Caesar hadn’t crossed the Rubicon? Maybe we’d all be wombats. It’s all so pointless. But I can’t help it today. What if I hadn’t gone to buy a chair and crayons? Then maybe my car would be all shiny and happy and still my friend. Maybe the poor man from Sydney wouldn’t think Tasmanians are all a bunch of loons, not to mention terrible drivers. But then, I wouldn’t have my crayons. Or my chair.  And I suppose it’s all fodder for a blog post. It’s just a shame the chair is self assembly.. and I seem to be missing a screw.

Screwless chair

Author: Stuffed Olive

My awesomeness intimidates some people, others just point and laugh.

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  1. Oh nooooooo!! What a terrible horrible no good very bad day you had! 🙁

    Hopefully your insurance covers the car damage, and you can find a replacement screw for the chair ASAP…

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    • THANK YOU! … yes, I so related to Alexander today. But also yes, I have fantastic insurance thanks to past Stuffed Olive who clearly had wonderful foresight, and my mother has an endless toolbox of screws that I raided. Hurrah! All’s well that ends well, and plus, I had wine.

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  2. So sorry Miss Holly, but the crayons do sound very special xxxx So glad no-one was hurt.

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  3. Update: The bodyworks man does not have high hopes for the survival of the big red car. Everyone cross fingers it can be saved!

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  4. I blame the crayons. Fate obviously considers that you should have accidents, not just in stationary cars, but in stationery cars. Maybe fate can’t spell.

    But seriously, I’m sorry. Accidents shake one up (in the mind) badly.

    If the big red car could be driven home, I’d be surprised if it needs euthanasing. My crossed fingers are cramping my writing style, or at least giving me an excuse for its poor quality.

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  5. Sorry to hear about the accident. Though I’m glad to hear you are ok. I hope your car pulls through. Hang in there, big red car!

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  1. Well, that’s disappointing. | Confessions of a Stuffed Olive - [...] know you are all waiting in desperate anticipation to hear the outcome of the window crayon experiment. You really…

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