Socially Awkward x2
For the socially awkward, no human interaction ever goes exactly to plan. You live in constant fear of running into an acquaintance…
…or having to make small talk with a stranger.
You become accustomed to the looks of confusion, and the slow, meaningful steps backwards, the sideways head tilt and the frantic I-need-to-end-this-conversation-now excuses like, “I just remembered I left the oven on in my car and my dog called to say he can’t pick up the kids from school…so I have to go.” That’s right, ‘normal’ people can be weird too.
The only thing worse than running into, well, anyone, is running into another person who is just as socially incompetent. This is a constant problem for me and my neighbour. He is very nice. He even puts out my green-bins for me. But… well. Our conversations usually go something like this:
And then we both walk away and pretend it never happened.
The other day I saw my neighbour in the driveway, so I hid in a bush until he went away. It was really the only rational response to the situation, and simply easier for everyone involved.