Stuffed Olive’s Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

I love checking Google Analytics for my “Confessions of a Stuffed Olive” statistics. It offers no practical benefit, but discovering the search terms used to find my site has provided me with hours of amusement. Due to the random nature of my blog, a lot of rather obscure terms come my way. Many of these are posed as questions, so I thought it was about time that I answered some of the more frequently asked questions.

I’d like to point out that each of these (or a variation thereof) has been asked at least 8 times in order to make the list. Some have been asked as many as 20-30 times.

“How do I make a crocheted bird nest?”

It’s easy! You can find step-by-step instructions here.

How to make a crocheted bird's nest

“How do I make a stuffed olive outfit?”

I dunno.

I dunno

“Can I spray mortein on my cat?”

No.

No.

“What is the definition of a feminist?”

Whatever you want it to be!

This is what a feminist looks like

“Should I read Fallen by Kate Lauren?”

No.

No.

“How do I make German people be my friends?”

Not like this.

How to make friends with German People

“Where can I buy stuffed olives in Canberra?”

I dunno.

I dunno

“Is it ok my boyfriend calls me a bitch?”

No.

No.

“What do I do when the school bully makes me lick her shoes?”

Kick her in the head. You can find step-by-step instructions here.

Kick her in the head

“Hfyggh?”

Pardon?

Pardon

“Is it okay to call strangers darling”

No.

No.

 “Where do werewolves live?”

In books.

In books

“What is the best mortein success strategy?

Never lose eye contact! You can find step-by-step instructions here.

Mortein survival

“Should I feed wild mushrooms to my child?”

No.

No.

“Mr why you hate me?”

I don’t…

I don't

“What is a stuffed olive?”

ME! (also, a tasty hors d’œuvre)

A stuffed olive

I hope that was helpful! Clearly there are a lot of burning questions out there and I’m always happy to help out.

If you have any other questions you want answered, let me know!

If you have any other brilliant questions that have turned up in your Google stats, let me know them too… especially if you can beat, “Can I spray mortein on my cat.” (Because… really… oh dear.)

PS. Why do people want to make crocheted birds’ nests? Seriously… I get variations on this question at least once a week.

Author: Stuffed Olive

My awesomeness intimidates some people, others just point and laugh.

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7 Comments

  1. Re crocheted birds’ nests: where else are crocheted birds going to lay their eggs? 😉

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  2. You can buy stuffed olives in Canberra at Deli Planet at the Fyshwick Food Market. May I particularly recommend the olives stuffed with almonds, or the olives stuffed with blue cheese.

    Love the post.

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  3. Whoa. I was coming here to plug the Deli Planet at Fyshwick myself. Weird. Eerie. (But they make good stuffed olives!)

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    • Hah! Thanks for the recommendation, Matthew and Kara! Another obvious option might be the supermarket….

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  4. Hilarious. I’m so glad I decided to catch up on some of my blog reading this weekend.

    My most nonsensical search term for my book blog is “the world and”. I just want to know and what. On my science in fiction blog, the highest search term hits are for my most scathing “you’re doing it wrong” posts, which makes me both happy and a bit worried.

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    • I want to know “the world and what?” now too!

      My top hits are always my least favourite posts which is why I don’t have a “popular posts” tab. At least with yours you are educating people. They should know when they’re wrong! Omigoodness! Did you know that if you JUST Google “Tsana” it is basically all you and some lake?! Wow!

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