Summer, or the sound of misanthropy

I live in Hobart for a reason.

It’s nice here.

Located that ideal distance from Antarctica, our weather is a perfect balance of rain and cold that is so adored by penguins, leeches, and hermits. The cold and rain keeps people indoors, limiting crowds in public places.The lack of sun provides Vitamin D deficiencies that satisfactorily keep the public subdued – it’s sort of like the “Pax”, but our resultant Reavers have two heads and are isolated to the fringes of Launceston. Basically, our weather maintains order.

Unfortunately, every year, this horrible thing happens. It’s called Summer.

Suddenly the sun in shining, and the birds are singing. Oh those birds! Every morning they wake me up with their sounds of happiness. It’s enough to make you want to kill someone. People start leaving their houses as their seasonal affective disorder wears off and suddenly the shops and streets are filled with other humans. And those humans are happy, and they want to socialise. Like the taunting bird song, the sounds of their happiness drift through my windows – their summertime music, chatter, and clinking beer bottles. There are no more nice rainy, isolated walks along the beach. Instead the beaches are packed with smelly creatures, and anyway, the sun… the sun… it is hot and bright and…

I freakin’ hate it.

Come back Winter! Come back… I love you.

Author: Stuffed Olive

My awesomeness intimidates some people, others just point and laugh.

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8 Comments

  1. I have the perfect solution for you …they can’t get enough people in Antarctica this season so you could move down there as a reclusive writer-in-residence. With Mr Mew.

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  2. I’m pretty sure it would be too cold. 😉 Plus, I think you have to live in close quarters with other humans. *shudder*

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  3. I have fond memories of camping in the shadow of Mount Wellington in September and having to break the ice on the tent. Not quite as good as heaving up black forest cake on the sea trip over.

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    • At least Mt Wellington always knows it is supposed to be cold. <3

      ... Did you come over on the Spirit? *shudder* vom vom vom.

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  4. Oh yes, I basically hate the world at this time of the year, but I don’t think that summer’s to blame. It’s the evil that is the holiday season, and the fact that December makes me realise that I’ve achieved nothing, yet again, for a whole year. :S

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    • Oh the end of year lack of achievement woe. *sigh* You’ve just added to my reasons for despising this time of year…

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  5. I love that you just dropped in a comparrison to “the Pax” like its totally not a reference that needs explaining and everyone will get it (ok, so in Olive circles, everyone probably will get it, but I like that about your world).

    Otherwise, I hope summer (and the yucky people) leaves you alone soon

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