Websites and Rage Times
Today I’ve had a fairly heavy day of internet exploration. This is often fun times, work times or learning times, all of which I approve. Often, however, internet exploration can rapidly become rage times.
I don’t know whether you’ve ever seen an olive fly into a fit of blind rage, but it’s not pretty.
Today my rage was due to the complete horrorcidity (yes, it’s a word, it means shitness) of some of the websites I stumbled upon. (Yes, if I can invent words – which I can – I can certainly end sentences with prepositions) So I decided I needed to create some guidelines for the little websitey-makers out there.
1. If your website opens to some revolting popup encouraging me to follow, subscribe, or purchase something, I will close it immediately.
2. (I know I’m possibly alone on this one, but I’m just pointing out the facts) If your website is filled with dozens of little jiggling gifs, EVEN if they contain cats, I will close it immediately.
3. If your website opens with music playing, I will close it immediately. I will also hunt you down and, as sweetly as possible, smash my laptop over your head. I have my own music playing and I don’t need it interrupted by your rubbish.
4. If your website is ugly, and I reserve the right to change my definition of ugly at any time, I will close it immediately.
End rant / Sincerely, Stuffed Olive.
(The list actually goes on, but I think I’ve expressed enough rage for one evening)
Are there any website characteristics that turn you into a homicidal ranting maniac? Please, feel free to add to my list.